(this post is a follow-up to this one, below)
So I actually did spend an hour cleaning up the kitchen and living room
with the Cameos playing. Here's the preseason Top 10.
10 - The Miami guy who keeps slapping away a Florida State guy's
helmet, while yelling, 'it's all about this 'U' ". What's so great
about that is that, as we know from self-labeled "Soldier," Kellen
Winslow, "It's all about this 'U' " is the unofficial team slogan for
Miami players. So from one cameo, we get to think about Kellen's
timeless "Soldier" tirade, Kellen's recent two-wheel hijinks AND the
endlessly amusing irony that, of all the letters that the Miami
Hurricanes football players can cling to for identity, they choose the
one that stands for "University."
9 - The three bruisers in halter tops for whom it's a Great day to be a
8- The Florida State sorority, 20 strong, that lets you know: It's In
7 - The East-West all-star game sideline roll call of conferences -
they run quick clips of players from different conferences lining up
with their helmets and giving shout outs about how their conferecne is
just SO totally In The Game. SEC, Big 12, Pac 10, all In The Game.
ACC is in the game, hilariously fronted by a Duke guy (I mean.. come
on...) And so is Boise State, San Jose State and Utah whose players
stand around together giving a collective, vague non-BCS-Is-In The Game
shout. Hilarious. And if you don't think ANYTHING sounds cooler when
you sandwich it around "baby," just listen up for "Boise State, baby,
Boise State!" Terrific.
6 - the Florida State twins dressed in Porno Pocahontas outifts. It's
in the Game.
5 - Lloyd Carr, back for at least his third cameo, with not an inch
more charisma. The squarest coach in the nation - It's In The Game.
4 - (to the hook of Biz Markie's "Just a Friend) "EYE... I love
U-S-SEE-EEE....And I hate U-C-L-A (and Oklahoma! (yelled)), and I hate
UCLA (and OKlahoma!) OH BAY-BEE, EYE... I love U-S-See-eee.... and I
hate UCLA (and Oklahoma!) - EA Sports it's in the Game!!!!!" There's
five of 'em, each wearing more red and yellow than the next (three
Blaine jerseys between them), each with frizzier, blonder hair than the
next, each in jean shorts shorter than the next. Filmed, obviously, in
the parking lot of the Orange Bowl. Them Sooners never had a chance.
3 - Tommy Chang at the East West Bowl. With a rare solo cameo, Chang
looks in the camera and says, "Tpmmy Chang, University of Hawaii, NCAA
passing leader" with about the same commitment that Scott McClellan
answers Rove questions.
2 - The 3 drunk Wisconsin chicks in half-shirts. Not surprisingly, the
director gave them a full, uncut Cameo ("E-A-Sports, N-C-double-A
Football Two-thousand-six - If it's in the Game, it's in the Game -
whooooooooo!"). Arms draped around each other, they teeter farther and
farther forward towards the camera, in a manner that becomes more and
more fellatious as they go (Yes, that's a word - I just heard it in
"Kinsey"). For sheer horsepower, right there with the three assassins
ABC found in the Miami stands during the '02 FSU game.
1 - USC. Hey - everybody else with a preseason list has them here.
And since I don't actually rank teams anymore, here's my chance.