Saturday, December 20, 2008

Some OL-H pub

(sent to a few pararescue friends last week)

> after a Three's Company-like misunderstanding with Netflix ("I
> thought YOU wanted to see it!"), we ended up with Transformers last
> night. And that is absolutely the greatest robots-that-turn-into-
> cars movie ever made.
> no, its just an awful, loud, insanely stupid movie that has one of
> those terrifc trap-openings that makes you think its going to be good.
> THe trap is that it opens at a 'special forces' air force base in
> Qatar, and piles on both the mil-porn hardware and every concievable
> somethihg-evil-this-way-comes military movie cliche on earth in
> about 5 minutes. There's the no-non-sense General, the barked
> commands, the soldier on the vid conference with his wife when the
> lights go out (the wife is even holding a newborn - full marks!),
> the 'This is our last mission/don't even say the word 'home'" talk
> among the Team, and a symphony of bullshit-radio-chatter with
> airplanes ("target acquired good tone" "cleared hot into killzone
> alpha bravo").
> THe chatter, of course, comes from when the transformer-monster
> thing attacks the base. pretty cool.
> best part though, and the only reason I mention this movie at
> all: to the credit of the producers, the "special ops team" which
> opens the movie and becomes central characters, is geared up about
> right, weapons and uniform-wise, and the Black Guy is - ta da! - a
> CCT (which, plot-wise, means he's doomed to a dreary life of
> grabbing any radio within 100 yards of him and wildly yelling
> "danger close!" into the mic, even if its the PA system at Wrigley
> field (that doesn't happen. i'm just saying that if the robot battle
> made its way to the Pressbox, it would)).
> So, how does the movie let you know, for sure, that's Cee-tee-
> tee? Well, for one as the movie opens and The Team is flying back
> from a Mission, the other guys are properly attired in Army gear,
> but he's wearing Air Force gear (Tech stripes, in fact, same as me).
> Then they get back to the base for a few minutes of R&R before
> the robot shows up - just enough time, apparently for him to strip
> down to his t-shirt, which says "USAF" and - ta DAAAAAA! - throw on
> The Red Hat. So when the robot attacks, he sprints across camp in
> just camo pants, USAF tshir and the Red Hat, screaming "danger
> close!" into his radio, his empty fist and every vacant outhouse he
> passes.
> And for the rest of the movie, through helicopter crashes and
> Hoover Dam explosions (don't ask) and Robot-vs-motorcycle-vs-F-22s-
> Vs-DangerClose battles on La Cienga in downtown LA, he NEVER takes
> off the hat. Never. It burns bright like a shining Red Hat Beacon.
> HEEEEElarious, but nice work none the less.

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